Katie's Story

I was overjoyed when I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter. She instantly became the light of my life and that has never changed despite the mental struggles I endured after having her.

 My birth wasn't terrible, but I had a lot of physical complications that led me to being nearly immobile for weeks. It was a rough recovery for me physically the first few months, but mentally I felt great. I actually remember being so grateful thinking I was in the clear from any postpartum mental health disorders. However, once I hit the three month postpartum mark, things drastically changed. I went back to work and at the same time I decreased pumping and breastfeeding. It was at this time my symptoms began and would continue on for months. I had strange beliefs, delusions, visual and auditory hallucinations, compulsions, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks every single day. 

Thankfully, after many months of suffering I was able to finally receive proper treatment. I got on the right medications and right dosages and times. I am involved in weekly therapy and I do support groups as well. I have a wonderful, strong support system willing to help me in whatever way I need. I no longer live in the dark, I bask in the light every single day now.

If I could talk to other moms experiencing postpartum psychosis I would first want to tell them and their support system to take it seriously and get them the help they need immediately. I would like to tell other moms that they are way stronger than they know in every way and this is something they can and will get through. You will feel like yourself again someday, you really really will. Stick around, the world, your family, and especially your child needs you. You're valuable. 

I understand postpartum psychosis to be less understood than other postpartum mental health disorders. I wish more people knew and understood the silent symptoms, the masking behavior sufferers will do to cover up what they are going through, and the importance of getting these moms proper help to avoid prolonging their suffering and recovery times. I am on a path to healing, a lifelong journey of recovering from the absolute toughest experience of my life. Healing is never linear and I don't expect it to be anymore. I take each day as it comes and meet myself where I am at and use the tools I have to help myself continue to heal. I am strong, and so are you.